But it’s my birthday. Another year old… can’t say another year wiser. Another year drunker that’s for damn sure. Having a great time! So what are my goals for this year that I won’t keep you ask? To lose weight. …hahahahhahahahah!! I know good one. I am not a fat chic, but I want to lose weight. I could be considered by some to fluffy. Though I do not consider myself a bunny so I can’t be fluffy. I have joined a gym. Well almost, I am waiting to get paid because I like to put things off. I have had the money, got the money, & don’t want to spend the money. But I set a hard commit date as my  next paycheck. I want to finish my certification so I can transfer in to the IT industry. I also want to be divorced to my 1st husband by this time this year. Other than that, I want to love my kids, my mate, and my family. Throw a little world peace in the mix so I can sleep well at night and we have a fuckin good year!

I am drunk and don’t plan to write for long. Let me spell check this post & back to watching the Cook master( hahahahaha) I go!!

Hi,
My name is Nichole. Funny thing. I went to the bar. Had about 3 double shots of crown royal and came home and googled AA forums online. I am not an alcoholic. The 1st step is my life has become unmanageable. My life isn’t. My life is great. I am a housewife. I don’t drink until the kids to sleep and I am managing my life really well. I go to college and have an A gpa. ( 3.76) It’s not unmanageable. I am not even sure I have a problem. All I know is occasionally, I feel lost. I feel that if I don’t drink, what would I do? I cook, clean, take care of the kids. I don’t really have a lot of friends. The ones I do have jobs and can’t spend a lot of time with me. My fiance’ is a recovering NA 26 years clean and goes to bed at 11pm. I don’t know… how do you know if you are in need of AA. I went to an AA mtg one time. At the time, I didn’t even drink. It appeared to be a bunch of whiny babies who wanted to have a boo hoo fest. I felt depressed. Life isn’t bad. It’s great. I woke up. lol. I don’t drink because I am sad. I drink out of boredom. ( I get to leave the house woo hoo!! lol)

I am 30. Started drinking.. ironically when I went to the Army. Well that’s a lie. I drank from 17 – 20 but had my 1st daughter and stopped. Went to the Army in 07 and started drinking again. I enjoy it. I like it. I am home all days with the kids. During the school year they are gone, but once they get home its extracurriculars times 10. I am a helicopter mom. I hover and I am proud of it. lol But I don’t have anything that is for me. I tried exercising. I tried a book club. I tried marathons. Nothing worked. Drinking does. I go to the bar and play the video games and have a good time. Occasionally someone flirts and it’s great. I don’t even drink at home because that would defeat the purpose. I like to go out. My fiance’ doesn’t really.

I can’t say I am a AA. My life is great. I have 2 great kids. A wonderful man. We take trips we have a ball. what is unmanageable?. And I don’t believe that functional alcoholic b.s. If you are functioning and not hurting anyone what’s the problem?? ( I know disease lol but the sun breeds skin cancer. lol I am not too concern with my health right now. Like the old adage says, ” only the good die young.” lol )

Only reason I think I am here is guilt. My fiance’ is a NA & AA survivor. I think i makes me feel guilty like what’s wrong with me? He doesn’t say anything. He said you’re an alcoholic if you can’t go the bar 30 days in a row and just drink 1 drink. bullish is what i say. Who wants to go the bar and drink 1 drink for 30 days?? I mean if you bet me a million dollars ok. But other than that… I go to have a few drinks and enjoy myself. So he is no help.

I just wish.. I guess my point is what’s wrong with coming home and having a few drinks? Is it a certain quantity you must drink before you become a functional AA? Where do you cross the line? I drink less than I did 3 years ago. Am I wrong for wanting to drink. Does anyone who drink regularly equate addiction? I guess I don’t know what is the litmus test to be an alcoholic.

I hate this. I hate being the only person in my home who drinks. I see the other people who don’t drink. They are boring. They want to fall asleep at 9pm and never want to do anything other than movies and dinner. I am confused right now.

The only down side is that I am eating like someone said Armageddon is coming and food will be scarce. But I am going to join a gym. My college actually offers a free gym membership to the site on campus. So I plan to start working out 2xs a week. Plus, I will be able to get back to running now that my lungs will start to clear out. My goal is by this time next week to be completely smoke free.  I am also going to get back to calorie counting once again. It has worked in the past and will work again. I have just been so busy with college, working, and now vaping that i haven’t had time.

I recommend these to anyone who wants to eliminate the harmful effects of smoking. No more tar in your lungs. No more inhaling carcinogens. You will still have the harmful effects of the nicotine, but it’s a lot healthier and safer. You won’t stink at the e cigs have zero smell. It’s actually cheaper I believe. For around $7 -10 you get 5 cartomizers.  If you use 2 a day then it will last your roughly 3 days. ( a little less) I figure a pack of cigarettes is $6 a day so that’s $18.  So it’s savings of $8 – 11 dollars a day.   That adds up. They also come in different levels of nicotine strength. So you can gradually wean yourself off of the e cigarettes and be smoke free.

I will keep everyone updated on my progress and will post pictures of my goodies soon as I receive my new order.